Trauma is a very complicated aspect of life. Our brains block off things that it thinks we can’t handle and will unlock those memories when the brain feels we are healed enough to face our traumas. When I was in eleventh grade I went through a trauma, but my brain blocked it out. I went from a very outgoing, smiley, extroverted, sunshine-y girl to someone who isolated, self-harmed, and lied. My family and friends had no idea what was happening, and I couldn’t tell them because at the time, I honestly didn’t know either. I was put into therapy, and it took years of work, years of struggling with self-harm, a few suicide attempts, and a hospital stay before I was able to even remember what happened to me. Once I reached a point in my life where things seemed to be steady my brain decided to unlock my trauma. After going through countless medicine changes and multiple diagnoses, the last thing I wanted was to add PTSD to the list. Actually, the last thing I wanted to do to have to tell people. I told my best friend first and he was beyond supportive, he even sat with me and held my hand as I told my parents. I was met with undying love and support from each person I told. This was three years ago. Today I am certified in mental health first aid, a certified crisis counselor who volunteers for the Crisis Text Line Center, and I am about to graduate from the University of Kentucky with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I am interning for the PeteFoundation, I will be attending Spalding in the fall to become a school guidance counselor and I am over a year clean of self-harm. While my healing and my progress have not been easy in any sense, it was been worth every tear shed. There is nothing linear about healing and that’s a hard lesson to learn. I am still in therapy. I still take medication, and I probably always will, but that’s okay. I’m alive and that’s what matters at the end of the day.
